


Dave: Learn How to Bike

by fukmylyf (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/M, Feelings, Flush Crush, Horny Teenagers, I'm not sorry, M/M, Mentions of Kanaya/Rose - Freeform, One-sided Davekat, One-sided Kismesis, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, i wrote this at midnight, what even is this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-05-08
Packaged: 2018-01-08 07:28:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1129958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/fukmylyf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat is a near professional biker, and Dave asks for lessons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Be Dave Strider

**== >Be Dave Strider**

You hear the motorbike before you actually see it. And you see the bike before you see the rider. And him you barely see. Seriously, you’re kind of surprised he can reach the handle bars. But Karkat doesn’t look half bad on a motorbike, and there’s no way in hell you’re complaining.

You take your time trudging down the stairs, hearing Jade squeal as she hugs her boyfriend and feeling a pang in your heart that you ignore. God, you really want to be the one hugging Karkat. Or fucking him on the pavement. Yeah, the second option sounds best.

Karkat’s grinning slightly, his face close to Jade’s. She’s smiling, a blush on her freckled cheeks. Karkat then spots you over her shoulder and his usual scowl returns.

“Hey Vantas.”

“Strider.”

“So.”

“Before you ask, I still find it completely fucking stupid that you had me come here to pick you up-“

“But Karkat!! You got to see me!!” Jade squeals, mashing a kiss on Karkat’s lips. You pretend not to notice, because that does strange things to your chest. Not positive strange things, too. Really negative strange things. Which make you upset. And when you’re upset you lose your cool, and you definitely aren’t doing that in front of Jade, because she is one of the only people left who actually finds you cool.

“Jade. Jade, stop. Yes, I love you, now get off. Jade. Jade, come on, _please_ ,” he groans, trying to push Jade off of him. Their relationship is adorable. But you want to be the one with Karkat. Even if Jade is your best friend.

“Strider, please, a little help would be appreciated,” he pretty damn near screeches, because Jade is tickling him and grabbing his ass. Goddamn horny teenagers.

“Jade! I have to teach that nookwhiffer how to bike, get off!”

“Yeah, look Harley, as nice as the view is from here, I do kinda wanna learn how to bike. So.”

Jade pouts and you remember why Karkat fell in love with her in the first place. It’s pretty much the same as the reason you nearly fell for her, too. Girl is just too cute.

“Fiiiiiiiiiiine. Be that way. Losers.” She marches back to her house (what house? That thing is a _mansion_ ) but you know she isn’t angry.

When you turn around, Karkat is holding a helmet out to you.

“Couldn’t you get your brother to teach you? I just learned how to ride this thing,” he mumbles. You can’t help but smirk. Seriously, he is just too precious.

“No, because having my brother teach me means having my ass kicked to hell and back.”

“What makes you think I won’t do that?” he replies, slipping his helmet on. You follow the action.

“Maybe the fact that it’s too fucking easy for me to take you down.”

“Fuck you, Strider,” is his only reply, because next thing you know you are zooming down the street. You allow yourself a scream before latching yourself to Karkat’s waist. He’s laughing at you; you can just make it out over the roar of his bike. He turns into the woods and you’re a bit upset that he isn’t taking you here to fuck you. It’s really nice and private here, and the cool breeze that sends tingles up your spine makes this the best place for sex. You, obviously, know this from experience. _Obviously_.

Karkat drifts to a stop inside a clearing, and you loosen your hold on him. He’s still laughing.

“I can’t believe it, I finally found a Strider’s weakness!” he snorts, taking off his helmet and shaking his hair out. It’s one of those kinds designed for trolls, with holes in the top for his horns. You begin to take yours off, but Karkat reaches over to jam it back down.

“No way, fucker. I can ride without my helmet, but I’m pretty sure that you’ll need padding for your arms and knees. I don’t want you to get hurt, see?”

You’ve never heard him tease before. It turns you on in unspeakable ways and it takes all of your willpower to keep your crotch from rising.

“Shut up, Kitkat, I can take care of myself,” you mumble in reply. He flicks your helmet.

“Stop calling me that.”

“Sure can do, Karkitty.”

“And that.”

“Absolutely Kittykat.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you, too, Karbabe.”

You say it with a smirk, and mean it sarcastically, but it’s probably the most truthful thing you’ve said all evening. He just glares at you, and climbs off the bike, so you do, too.

“Walk it in a circle,” he tells you, turning it off. You do as he tells you, going round the edges of the relatively small clearing. “Get used to the weight, and try to balance it.”

Soon, you’re sitting on it, giving small bursts of fuel to get you moving a bit.

“Release less, you fucking imbecile! Stop trying to twist it so much, you just have to-“

You finally do it right, and travel a couple feet forward before freaking out and stopping.

“Why did you stop. That was stupid, you were fine.”

You kick down the thingy that keeps it standing. You don’t care what it’s called.

“Exactly, I wanted to celebrate,” you reply pulling off the helmet and shaking your hair loose. God, it’s totally messed up your ‘do. Fuck him.

“Get back on the fucking bike. If you can make a full circle, I’ll let you celebrate.”

You place the helmet on the bike and flashstep towards him. He stumbles back a bit when you get right up in his face and growl “, I don’t need your permission.”

He glares at you. “Fine, figure out how to bike on your own. See if I care.”

“I know you will.”

You start backing him up, subtly at first, and then less so. His cheeks are aflame, but you have a feeling it’s less of a flustered blush and more of an angry flush.

You back him right into a tree, and notice you didn’t say anything and he complied. That makes you feel slightly better, but you realize he might just be black for you.

You tilt his head up. “You’re really gorgeous when you blush,” you tell him, and like the way that the angry flush now turns flustered.

“Strider, I have a girlfriend! Who also happens to be your best friend! Get the fuck off me!”

“Nope. One evening doesn’t need to change anything.”

“Yes it does. It can change a whole lot of things,” he growls, pushing you away. Or trying to, at least. Cute. You close into his personal space more and bonk your forehead against his. He squeaks and starts slipping down the tree, trying desperately to get away from you.

You follow him down, leaning in to nip his ear. He jerks away, and your teeth clamp together quite forcefully, but you ignore the pain, keeping your focus on Karkat.

“ _Dave,”_ he growls, and you like the way he says your name. “This pretty damn near counts as _rape._ ”

“Well, you don’t seem to be stopping me.”

That makes him even more flustered, and he sputters on his words. He seems to decide that no verbal answer really works and punches you instead. It barely hurts. You are a Strider on a mission, and you will get what you came for. You tilt his head up sharply, both of you sitting at the base of the tree, your legs straddling his.

“D-Dave… Stop.” He’s panting slightly, like he’s going to start hyperventilating.

“Nope,” is your only reply and you kiss him, hard and fast and desperate. He squeaks and tries to pull away but he can’t because you have him sandwiched between the tree and your lips. He doesn’t kiss you back, still struggling against you. You hear a sound behind you, and Karkat makes a desperate noise.

“Dave? _Karkat?_ ” You realize the sound you heard was Jade’s own motorbike, and Karkat pushes you off in your moment of surprise.

“Jade! Jade, wait damn it!” he yelps, sprinting behind her. He comes panting back a few seconds later and he looks like he’s going to cry. You feel regret start bubbling up within you, and the feeling blossoms when you see the way Karkat looks at you. He picks up his bike and throws your helmet at you.

“You’re lucky I’m even giving you a ride back. Don’t touch me.”

You climb on behind him, clutching the seat instead of his waist, missing the feeling of his skinny torso under that massive sweater.

The ride is silent, and he drives quicker than before. He stops at your place first, telling you to “get the fuck off. And keep the helmet” before driving off. You think he’s going to go see Jade.


	2. Karkat: Apologize to girlfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat's POV!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a longish chapter as an apology for keeping you waiting!!

** Karkat: Apologize to girlfriend **

****

You'd do that except your girlfriend refuses to answer the door. You knock again, ring the doorbell a few times. Bec scrabbles his claws against the door, you can hear the scratching. You sigh and step back.

 

"Jade! Please! I'm sorry! I didn't know he was... I thought he was... Fuck. Harley come on!" 

Your yelling only serves to have her window slammed shut. You kick the curb in frustration, at yourself and especially at that douchebag Strider. Okay, yes, you'll admit you led him on. You've been black for the asshole for a few sweeps now, you thought that maybe,  _ maybe _ , if you reciprocated... But, fuck. He wasn't black for you at all. And then there was that stupid tree...

And holy SHIT, there's another one in front of you now. You swerve to avoid it, remembering that you are driving now, better focus on the road. You never really appreciated this path. Trees everywhere. And flowers. And more trees. And also more flowers.

Jade would love it here.

You should really take her along sometime.

You park your bike in front of your moiraill's house and pull your helmet off. She's already coming down the steps, informed of your approach from the loud growling of your bike.

"Karkat! I didn't expect you home so early."

"Yeah. Our lesson got cut short," you reply bluntly. Kanaya frowns at you and stops you when you try to sidestep her into your shared home. Well, you only live here when Kankri's in town. Living with _him _ makes you consider moving out of the country. And maybe off the planet.

"Karkat, what happened?"

"Stuff. Stupid stuff. Stuff that I would like to forget, but likely won't. He just- I- Jade- Kan, I don't know what to do."

You kind of break down all over her and she pats your back softly. Once you're done ruining her shirt, she pulls you gently into the house, closing the door behind you. She has a dress laid out on the couch and you groan.

"Karkat, I don't have to go out tonight-"

"Kanaya, shut up. You've been working on this dress for weeks and you haven't seen Rose in almost just as long. Go."

"Karkat, you're-"

" Kan. I can take care of myself."

"Will you help me dress then? I want you to tell me everything."

"Yes ma'am," you say, saluting her, before hanging your jacket up and pouring yourself a glass of OJ. This is going to be a long night.

~

With your problems laid bare and Kanaya on her date, you decide the best way to spend the rest of the evening is stare at the ceiling. Which is what you do, for about half an hour. And you'd probably continue if the doorbell didn't ring.

You get up and march to the door, slamming it open. Once you see who is outside you slam it shut and pull your sofa across it. And then you lie on the floor where the sofa used to be.

"Vantas, I'm sorry," Dave says, slumping against the door.

You don't reply.

"Karkat please."

"Fuck you."

And with that you go back to staring at the ceiling.

"Karkat, look. I just. I was gonna go to Jade's place to apologize, do you wanna come with?"

"I already went."

He sighs and you guess he get's up, because next thing you know he's pushing against the door halfheartedly.

"Vantas, come on, man."

"No. Shut up and leave me alone."

"Karkat, seriously. I'm sorry, I mean it."

"Go to Jade's by yourself and explain this all to her, then. I'm not going to hold your hand,  you fucking bulgewhiff," you spit.

Dave groans. "Karkat, I doubt she'll listen if only one of us shows up."

"Oh, right, and it'll only quell her suspicions if both of us went together. Genius plan, Dave."

"Where's Kanaya?" he asks, out of the blue. You almost start, almost.

"She's on a date with your sister, you ignorant nooklick."

"She is? She told me she was going out by herself!"

"Probably because saying anything to you puts all the wrong images in your fucked up thinkpan."

"Can you at least let me in? We could have a proper conversation and shit."

You get up and move the couch back to where it belongs.

And then, reluctantly,  _ very _  reluctantly, you open the door.

"Don't fucking  _touch _ me," you tell him, giving him your best stink-eye. Which has apparently lost its touch because he looks like he just wants to cuddle you. Well, as much as a Strider can look like they want to do anything. Having pretty much grown up with Dave, though, you can read his face pretty well. And because of the completely un-Strider-like smile he's sporting. He has a fucking hideous smile, holy shit. You just want to punch it off of him. And then kiss his bleeding face. And maybe tear off his lips while you're at it. And break his shades and  _shit- _

_ You were staring at him. For nearly a whole minute. FUUUUUUUUCK. _

__

You take a breath and hope you aren't blushing.

"Earth to Vantas, Earth to Vantas, Vantas this is Houston."

"Houston we have a problem," you reply, turning around and making your way to the kitchen. Dave comes in and shuts the door softly behind him.

"And what exactly is this problem?"

"You."

Dave puts a hand to his forehead and swoons, collapsing on your couch.

"Oh, Mr Vantas, oh. You sure know how to make a guy feel wanted."

You consider throwing your sickles at him. It is a very tempting thought. Why you haven't done so yet is confusing. But you think you'll settle it on your stupid kisme-crush. Fucking hormones, you don't  _want _ to feel this way. Especially not for that asshole.

You pour yourself a glass of OJ and carry it out. Dave stares at it.

"Do I get anything?"

"Serve yourself, bulgemunch. I'm not your bitch," you reply simply. He gets up and you sit down.

"Asshole," he says softly. You stick your tongue out at him.

He does go and pour himself a glass of apple juice (why does Kanaya have to stock every type of juice ever? You wanted to see him suffer without his stupid juice. Shit doesn't even taste good.) You swing you legs onto the couch, occupying as much space as your small frame can. That still leaves a good space of the couch uncovered. Dave sits on your legs anyways.

"So exactly why did you let me back you into the tree?" he asks, nonchalant as always.

"Why the fuck do you think,  asswipe ?" you retort. He stares at you, at least, his shades face you. He could be admiring the wall behind you for all you know.

"Are you sure she won't answer if both of us go?"

"Yes, for two reasons. One, she's probably asleep by now. Two, I don't think she wants to see either of us for a while. Thanks for that, by the way,  nooklick ."

He winces at that. An ever so slight twitch in his cheek muscles. You snarl at him, malicious to the bone. Why the fuck do you even bother with this douche anymore? It's obvious he'll never understand.

"She's my friend too,  douchebag ," he hisses, punching you in the chest.

You look at him for a while, highly doubting that the move he made could be considered a  caliginous  flirt. But it still has you hot and bothered. And if you don't get your legs back, you have a feeling you're going to do something you'll regret.

You try to tug your legs back but he just stubbornly sits there, keeping you trapped beneath his bony ass.

Ass. Great, and now you are fixated on it.  _Fuuuuuck_ _._ Why, feelings, why would you do this? This is torture. You cannot and will not engage in any kind of quadrant shit with Strider. No. Never. Never ever ever. No matter how obviously black for him you are. He's flushed for you, even a wriggler could see  that, and that is the reason this won't work. Too many jumbled and conflicting emotions. You let out an exhausted sigh and try to scooch back a bit, but Dave refuses to let you.

"Strider, I know you aren't black for me, so stop pretending and lemme go," you growl, giving one more tug of your legs before sighing and slumping back on  the couch.

"How would you know?"

"The way you  _ kissed _  me, maybe."

That shuts him up. He looks away and lifts his ass up ever so slightly, giving you the chance to escape. Which you do, in record time. And then he finishes his  AJ , takes the cup back to kitchen and leaves with a small "see ya round, Kitkat."

 


	3. Dave: Severely regret everything

**Dave: Severely regret everything**

Welp. That could’ve gone better. You trudge down the path away from Kanaya’s hive. How the hell she afforded this place you have no idea. You’re pretty sure she meddled her way into it. Either that or Karkat screamed at the landlord until he was frazzled enough to just give it to them for free.

Then again, though, Kanaya is a relatively famous tailor, and the suits she makes aren’t cheap, either. (You should know, you’ve got about 6.)

You leave the comforting shade of the trees. What now, your inner Terezi cackles. You sigh. Maybe you should talk to your moirail, you haven’t seen her in a while. Then again, she’s probably with Gamzee and you’d rather not barge in on them. Last time was good enough, thank you very much. Nobody needs to see that.

You decide that all you can do right now is go home and talk to Jade in the morning. And maybe think over your feelings for Karkat.

~

Your bro gives your ass a fair whooping when you get home, and you take it because frankly, you deserve it. He notices you aren’t fighting back, so he stops.

“What’s up, lil man?”

“I fucked up big time,” is your simple answer. You don’t feel like explaining so you trudge downstairs, not watching your step because fuck stairs.

And you nearly fall on your face.

Your bro catches you though, slinging your skinny torso over his shoulder and carrying you back to your apartment instead. You groan softly, kicking at him, but really you are too tired to want to do anything else.

He drops you on the couch and gets you an apple juice.

“So, what happened?” he asks, lounging on the couch next to you. You glare very hard a spot on the floor, willing it to catch fire or _something_ to distract you.

He pokes you in the ribs and you let it all out.

He kicks you out.

Well, you expected nothing less.

~

“What the fuck are you doing back here?” you growl, narrowing your eyes at the douchebag prick on your doorstep.

“Why are you still awake?” he replies, nonchalant as ever. You feel like punching him. Instead you shrug.

“Couldn’t sleep.” It’s truthful, but you mostly weren’t asleep because you didn’t want to sleep. You’ve stayed up for months at a time, so it’s perfectly fine for you to skip one night. Except you’re actually kinda drained.

“What are you doing here, fuckass?” you ask, unable to keep the exhaustion out of your voice.

“Bro kicked me out after I told him,” he replies, shrugging.

“Well, you’re not staying here.” You move to close the door but Dave puts his foot out to stop it.

“Please. Vantas, I’m sorry, ok? I just- fuck, yes, I love you, we both know that, but… I could get over it. Could we please get back to being friends?”

“We were never friends in the first place,” you tell him, trying to close the door again. He still keeps his foot there.

“Great, let’s change that. What’s you-“

“Fuck off Strider.”

“Vantas, come on. I’ll leave before you wake up,” he tries. He looks pathetic.

“You have a moirail, go find her.”

“She’s probably sleeping; I don’t want to wake her.”

“But it’s ok for you to find me, and wake me up.”

“You weren’t even sleeping.”

“You don’t know that. I could be a light sleeper for all you know.”

“Except you told me you couldn’t sleep.”

You slam the door on his foot. He curses and you do it again. And again. And again.

“Sheesh, Vantas, quit it, _fuck_ , I get it! Lemme move my foot, asshole.”

You let him. He turns away and trudges down your drive. You stand in the doorway and watch him. He looks really… pitiful. Fuck, you cannot be feeling this way. Not here, not now. But still you give him a grunt and turn around, leaving the door open. You march up the stairs and go to your room, and hear the door shut softly behind you.

~

“Karkat, exactly what is Dave doing sleeping on our couch? I thought the two of you had parted on unfriendly terms,” Kanaya asks, sitting on your bed.

“Wh-what? What time is it even?” you mumble, sitting up slowly, trying to stretch the sleep out of muscles.

“It’s already 8, dear.”

“Oh. Shit, is he still downstairs?”

“Yes, he is. And he’s still sleeping, too. Shall I chase him out?”

You open your eyes, squinting against the light streaming in through the window. Why did Kanaya insist on natural light? Why couldn’t she just let your curtains stay drawn?

“No, I… I need to talk to him. Just leave him alone for now. I’ll take care of it.”

She gives you this little look, you think it’s pride, and gets up to leave.

“Karkat, dear, don’t do anything rash. And good luck.”

~

“Kanaya is going to kill me, I hope you know,” you yell over the wind. Dave is clinging onto your waist and the two of you are breaking at least ten traffic rules on your race to Jade’s house. You plan on stopping at some flower shop to get her roses, but first Dave is going to explain everything to Jade.

You brake in front of her house. Dave hops off and dashes to her door. You ride off again.

So many fucking flowers. Red roses, yellow roses, pink roses. Thank god Kanaya taught you what each of them mean. You pick a bouquet of red roses, pay, get on your bike, dash off again.

Your phone beeps. You pull over and check your phone.

turntechGodhead (TG) began pestering carcinoGeneticist (CG)

TG: jade slapped me but i think were ok  
TG: where the fuck are you  
CG: WE’RE IN THE CLEAR?  
CG: HOLY SHIT. THANK GOG.   
TG: yeah where are you she wants to apologize for blowing you off yesterday  
CG: SHE WANTS TO APOLOGIZE? WHAT THE FUCK, TELL HER NOT TO. TELL HER SHE’S STUPID.  
TG: get your ass over here and tell her yourself asshole  
CG: YEAH, WELL DON’T TEXT ME THEN.  
TG: so its my fault now  
CG: STFU

carcinoGeneticist (CG) ceased trolling turntechGodhead (TG)

Holy shit, you got off easy. You hope she doesn’t plan on beating the shit out of you though. Although, if Dave only got a slap, you are totally fine.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah look who can update at a some what regular pace.. (i had this hidden away for weeks and then realised, i have internet and time, just do it)


End file.
